i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
