Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
