I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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