Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
