we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
