I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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