I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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