what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
