I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
