Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
