I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So much Jack, so little girl.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
