it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
