I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
