Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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