I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
