I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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