I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
