dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
