and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
