to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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