You're earring is so big in my mouth
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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