there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
