Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
