So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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