meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
