he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
