he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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