i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
tequila makes me forget i have legs
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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