just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
