babies were throwing up all over the place
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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