After last night, I could never be a politician.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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