Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
