mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
