it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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