the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
