I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
