So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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