I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
don't judge my taste in strippers
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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