I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
it hurts more in the daytime
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
