we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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