trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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