A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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