A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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