I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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