the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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