So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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