Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
