Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
