I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
