i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
