worst night to have a conscience
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
