I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
