First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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