friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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