I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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