But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
