im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
