PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
