belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
