"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
