I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
